Sleep - Glorious Sleep or lack of

January 28th, 2010 - I was told that working out would make me sleep like a baby. What they neglected to tell me was I would sleep like a new born. Wake up every two hours wanting to eat. While the exercise is great, the lack of sleep is killing me and I have gained 10 pounds from the grazing done at night. I have got to fix this problem. So I did what I have now become a pro at doing. I googled - Sleep Remedies. There were so many hints and suggestions that it almost put me to sleep researching them, almost. Instead I shook off sleep so I could read them all and finally settle on a couple that seemed to make the most sense to me. Of course, keep in mind I am sleep deprived so I don't really know what makes any sense.

1. Keep a pen and paper by your bed. The idea is you wake up because your thoughts need to get out. So if you empty your thoughts on to paper, your mind will be clear and you can sleep. WRONG. I started jotting down a couple words, which turned into a couple of paragraphs, which turned into a book, which kept me working day and night for 10 weeks. Try again. 2. Keep your room at a cool temperature and keep it very dark. Much like the inside of a refridgerator (although did you ever wonder if the light really stays on when you shut the door, I mean how would you know). Anyway, the problem with the very cool room is you can not move once you get under the covers, because if you do, you will hit a spot on the sheets that has not had your body heat yet, causing you to go into severe shivers, until that part warms up again. And don't even think of going to the bathroom unless you like the idea of having your body part stuck to the toliet seat. Let's try number 3. Talk you body to sleep, limb by limb. Yeah that worked out great. I said to myself ever so gently, "feet, go to sleep now", and they said "we will as soon as you quit shaking your legs". Cantankous fellows, must be the tight shoes I wear. Then I tried talking to my legs and said, "guys, my feet are tired and your moving is keeping them awake, stop moving and go to sleep please". To that, my legs showed me what resless leg syndrome is really all about. I felt like I was riding a bucking bronco. Ok, I'll try talking sense to the rest of my body. "Hands, arms could we go to sleep now I am really tired. "Sure", they said, "just as soon as we get comfortable". That was followed by 15 minutes of turning from side to side, punching the pillow to get it in just the right position and then turning over again. By now I was exhausted and had finally reached my head. It was here that my mouth and I began an all out battle, I kept saying please go to sleep, to which my mouth said, shut up and quit singing, to which my ears said, you call that singing", and by then my nose was so scared all it could was 'run'. And so it went. I battled all night, pleading with my body to go to sleep, but no way.

And then it happened, I finally found something that worked. I looked at the clock, and it was almost 5 o'clock, just starting to get light out and the day was beginning. Suddenly I felt relaxed, sleepy and immediately fell asleep. A deep sound soothing sleep...... Oh no is that the alarm I hear...