The Art of Stretching or Chinese Torture

Jan 1 - Happy New Year! If you are amoung the millions who start off today with the resolution to get in shape, this blog is going to be a big help. To begin your journey to getting in shape, assuming you are ok with being in pain every single day, then let me add the most important move to the top of your list..,. stretching. Stretching will help you become flexible, warm you up for real workouts, and determine just what level you are at as it relates to overall fitness. Trainers are incredible, with one simple move they can assess you and let you know exactly how much work is ahead of you. Easy Peasy, bring it on, I can touh my toes all day long, how hard can this be. I sat in the chair quickly crossed by foot over my knee and held those toes firmly. Mistake number 1. When they say touch your toes they mean from a standing position..( Simple enough, bend from the waist and STRETCH and touch your toes. I did ok, I made it all the way to the knees (which by the way are on our leg so we don't fall over reaching for toes). A couple of good bounces and I was right into mid-calf, but not without a lot of pain. Meanwhile, my czar was bent over firmly holding her toes, smiling and looking at me with that look that says , "I am waiting... and then the pityful sigh that says I have so much work to do with you, but don't worry we will get you there". After four attempts, two screams, and one loud crack (no, not my head hitting the ground) my flexibility level was assigned. Level 4 - Uncooked spaghetti, bend her slightly and she will crack. It was now all up hill to Level 3 - Asperagus, she can bend and move back and forth, but too much and she will snap, Level 2 - Cheese, you can pratically fold in half and she won't break and Level 1- Liccorice - you can bend her, shape her, any way you want her (I think that is a song) tie her in knot and she won't break. I thought I would come in at the cheese level, but alas I am spahetti. I thought well at least I am in the normal range. Not really most folks are at least at Asperagus, I thought well that is ok, no one who sees me can really tell what level I am at....Also not true. I learned the truth and that just by looking at how a persons shoe laces are tied, you can tell their flexibility level. If you are spaghetti, when you tie your shoe you cross your foot over your knee and tie your shoe leaving the bow placed on the inside of your shoe, if you are liccorice you bend right over and tie your shoe leaving the bow exactly centered on your shoe. So look around, where do you see peoples bows, where are your bows, remember folks are looking. As for me, I am headed to the mall to buy slip on shoes with the elastic laces...no bows at all.