There are great neighbors and then there are neighbors

August 9th, 2010 - I live in a lovely neighborhood, with some wonderful people. My neighbors are kind, caring, people, who look out for one another. If I need a hand I can always count on one of my neighbors to help me out. And sometimes when I don't need a hand, I can still count on that one person who, well, is going to be a little more helpful than you might like. There is a person like this in every neighborhood, that one neighbor who cares a little to much, and knows a little too much, well about, almost everyone and everything going on within 50 miles of her.

As I pull into my driveway, I see her approaching. I try a quick dart of the eyes, pretending not to see her, and speed up a little, thinking maybe I will slide into my garage before she sees me. No such luck, she sees me and starts waving and yelling my name so loudly that anyone within 10 miles of my house hears. I have no choice but to stop. And then she starts..."I noticed you did not pick up your paper, have you been gone?" "No, just overlooked it being there, been home all weekend." "Really, because I know you weren't home Friday night when I walked past your house". "I Looked in and the TV wasn't on, and there were no lights on, and it was only 8:30, and not even in your bedroom did I see lights". Now that I feel like a young teenager who has been busted, I quickly change the subject. "So, how are you doing, I would love to chat but I am running a little late, I need to go in." "Well, I am doing alright, but I can't say the same for Mr. John Doe (want to protect the innocent), who lives three houses over. I saw the police follow him into the sub-division. I think he was speeding, and probably drinking, based on his past...You do know he drinks a lot?" "No, I really don't know him well, and really as much as I would love to chat, I have to go". "Oh, is it because your male visitor is coming over?" "I've seen his car here several times". "And he seems to stay very Late." Given the choice to talk about my male visitor who stays a little too late or the neighbor she thinks is a drunk, I opt for the latter. "So, the police followed him in, huh?" "Hope everything is ok with him?" "Oh, it was nothing, he wasn't drunk after all." "So, this man who comes to your house, where do you know him from." "Just a friend I met." "Again, I would really love to chat but I have to go." "I hope you didn't meet him on one of those on-line services." "They are very dangerous." "They prey on older woman...and you are no spring chicken." "Why, Mary down the road let her guard down and the man she met had his way with her." "Of course I am telling you that in the strictness of confidence, as you know I am not a busy body". "Well, you needn't worry about me, this man is not interested in having his way with me, in fact he is not interested in having his way with anyone. He has an illness which, well, renders him a little unable, if you know what I mean. Happened after his 6th divorce. His wife took all his money, he lost his job, his family disowned him, and pretty much I am the only person he can talk to. So we can hang out together without having to worry about anything happening and I just try to be a good friend to him. Although he has asked for some money, it is a small amount and he says he will pay me back. With all that, she is satisfied. She is almost running from my house, to that of another neighbor so she can go spread the word as to what is going on in my house. It was almost too easy.

I thought living in a neighborhood with a lot of neighbors would be a good thing. Always someone around looking out for you. And for the most part that is very true. But sometimes your business can be every bodies business so I always say..."let's give them something to talk about."