The Luxury Hotel Pool Experience

May 6th, 2010 - For our third annual stay in Vegas we, again, stayed at the Wynn. Luxurious, opulant, over the top, and a 'to die for' pool area. One of the best parts of vacation is laying at the pool, sunning, reading, and ofcourse, people watching. The Wynn caters to a little older population, by that I mean over 25, an exposing, confident population, by that I mean folks are very comfortable with their bodies, even if their bodies are not something others may feel very comfortable seeing, if you get my drift, and a population that has a lot of money, I mean way to much money, exclude me and my friend from that group. What others spends as petty cash, we have saved all year for to make it look like it is petty cash. Big Difference.

So to get the most out of the pool experience, you have to be there bright and early. Around 8:30 a.m. This assures you the best spot, which is in the front row, one foot away from the pool, near the bridge (you can sit under it in the pool but avoid the sun, my friend burns easily) and directly across from the cabana's, which all the rich people have rented. Once you claim your seats, put on your sun glasses, spread out your towels, lather up in sun screen, open your water bottle and get comfy reading your book the fun starts. Miss 'my body is way to big for this suit' shows up to stake her claim. First of all she has enough gold and diamonds on that she would sink, if she ever got in the water. Who wears all their jewelry to the pool. She has high heels on, mistake number two, as believe it or not a pool area can be wet, which does not go well with high heels. She has a black cover up on, which which when I say 'cover up' I am using the term loosely, over her leopard bathing suit, that may have been an ok fit 25 pounds ago. As she glances in our direction it is clear, that grandma (me) is not up to her standards. She settles in and she takes out her kindle and heads to sit at the edge of the pool. The whole time I am practicing the art of moving things with my mind and if I am successful she will drop that kindle in the water, and when she bends over to pick it up, she will split the back of her suit, and her oversized butt will burst through. Alas that does not happen, but I can wish. Next comes Mr. 'Speedo, not a pretty picture', especially if you are very hairy and have a belly the size of texas, that hangs over the top of your suit. He takes inventory of the females around him, and settles between two very fit, attractive, suntan, woman. They promptly move once he settles in. And across the way at the cabana's they are beginning to fill up with men and woman, dressed in exquisite swimwear, with matching hats, sun glasses, shoes, beach bags, and wrap around sarongs. Once they settle in their chairs, they snag the waitress, order food, and then go in the cabana to eat, watch TV, and spend very little time at the pool. Why come down to the pool if you don't want to get some sun and enjoy the water...I know to show everyone that you have enough money to rent out one of those cabanas.

As always, I am never disappointed with my pool experience. As I sit in my not so revealing bathing suit, soaking up the rays, reading my book, and enjoying a Bloody Mary or a Mimosa, I am content. I thought maybe this will be the year I get tired of going to the pool, that there would not be anything else that could shock me, that I have seen all the bad taste bathing suits on the not so nice bodies I could ever see. But, no, I am happy to say just when you think you have seen it all, you can count on someone showing up wearing something even more outragous than the last outragous outfit. The most outragous this trip....well maybe the saying is true...what happens, or in this case, what someone wears, in Vegas will stay in Vegas.