The best year of my life or Practice makes Perfect

May 29th, 2010 - There is a book published called 'The Best Year of My Life'. A motivation type book, that helps you assess where you are in your life, what is important to you to accomplish in your life, where did you mess up, what did you learn from the mess ups', and what do you want to accomplish in your life. An easy ten question program to help you reach your goals and have the best year of your life. My only concern with this is 1) The ten questions are not so easy, especially question three, where have you messed up? I am on notebook number two and I am only in my young thirties. And 2) If this is my best year, then what do I have to look forward to, is everything else downhill?

Since I love the concept, and I feel I have already lived some of the worst years of my life, I feel the only way I can go is up. So self reflection is what I have done and truely some of the choices I have made along the way, let's just say, what the hell was I thinking. When I was younger the decisions weren't so long lasting. Like the time I thought it would be a great idea to ride my bike right off the peer at Montrose Beach. I thought if I peddled like a crazy person, the bike would somehow skim on the water, I would make a gentle turn and ride right back on to the peer. Well, not so much did it happen like that. I road off the peer, sailed about 8 feet and then hit the water. The bike sank (there's a surprise), I thrashed around in the water (I was not a very good swimmer), my sister pulled me out and turned to me and said, "you are so pathetic". Needless to say I was the only kid on the block without a bike that summer. When I was nearing the end of highschool I decided it was a good idea to get engaged at seventeen. I did not even have my senior prom under my belt nor had I ever had a 'long' term boyfriend but I was smitten and marriage seemed like the best idea. Bless my mom's heart, who made no big deal, knew me pretty well, and realized once the prettiness of the ring wore off (it was a very small ring) I would come to my senses and move on. Needless to say, my momd was right, as usual. But I did not learn too much from the experience because two and a half years later, with a newly found love, I was married. Ah life was bliss, that is until ten days later when he left for Viet Nam. Not exactly the 'first year of marriage' I had planned. Again, all I can say is, "what was I thinking". For the next twenty years I was raising children, making one mistake after another, or so my kids thought. I remember finding my daughter's diary that she wrote at twelve. At the time of finding it she was nineteen. But it read something like this... Today I asked my mom if I could walk to the gas station. She said "no", I hate her. Two days later..Today I asked my mom if I could shave my legs. She said "no", I hate her. And so it went for many an entry. No long term effects, she loves me now and she now has a six year old daughter, so it is just a matter of time.

As my self reflection continues I am sure I will find many more positive good things then I will 'messed up' times. But I think human nature is to remember the 'messed up' times. Some are so funny to me now, that I am sure I learned the lesson that was intended to be learned. However, I still have a whole chapter of my life left, maybe even two or three, so will it be the 'Best Year of My Life"? Or only the Best Year of My Life up til now... I will keep you posted.