Airline travel - the fastest way to get somewhere????

March 12th, 2010 - This past week I had the pleasure of boarding a plane and getting to where I needed to be in two hours. Well, what I mean is the actual flying time was two hours. The time surrounding the flying, you know getting to the airport, checking luggage, going through security, waiting for all the delays to pass, pushing back and sitting on the tarmac, arriving and sitting in a parking lot til your gate is free, and then retrieving your luggage and taking a taxi to your destination, well that took another eight hours. Yes, you heard me eight hours.

Let's talk about the whole experience. Since you need to be at the airpport two hours before your flight, and I live about an hour and fifteen mintues away, I end up leaving at 10:15 for a 1:45 flight. Ok, I can deal with that. But the real fun begins once you arrive at the airport. Your driver pulls to the curb and you get out and unload your luggage. This is a signal to the 'ever so friendly' policeman to begin blowing his whistle, as loud as he possibly can, look right at you, waving his arms, signaling, in no uncertain terms, that you are not to be loitering at the curb as it will distrupt the flow of traffic. Assuming you call being bumper to bumper, a traffic flow. Once out of the limo you can either use a 'curb side' check in or go inside and use one of the many computers set up to check in. (It is important to note, that while there may be many, usually only three actually work). Checking in consists of validating that you are you, and the destination the computer brings up is really where you are going. Gee I wonder if there were sending me somewhere better than I was really going, could I just accept. But really, how would the computer be smart enough to find you but have totally wrong information about where you are going. Then you are asked if you are checking luggage. Boy this really hits my sore spot. If you are checking luggage, then you will be charged an 'additional' $25. Now come on, if you are traveling where is it you would be going without luggage? I mean if they want to charge more money, up the price of the ticket, it is already outrageous, but don't be so ridiculous as to charge me for bringing luggage. Of course you can always do carry on, another sore spot that I will get to in a minute. You then pick your seat, hit complete and the computer prints your boarding pass. Next, you stroll over to the security section, where you can plan on being for the next half hour, on a good day. As you move closer and closer to the actual person who passes you on to the conveyor belt, you see another line open, ofcourse, you will not be in that line that just had 10 people skip past you. Once at the actual person, they review your license, looking at you and then the picture on the license and then back at you, and the person gives you the look that says, not so sure this is you, makes a couple check marks on your boarding pass and let's you through. Meanwhile, I am frantically explaining to the person that my picture was taken on a bad day, and ofcourse, I really look better than the picture, and ofcourse I weigh 120, doesn't the license say so. Now it is my turn to place my items on the belt and walk through security. Ok, take off shoes, take off any sweater, remove items from your pocket, remove your belt, remove your laptop, place purse in a separate bin, and if you have 'carry on' luggage that too goes up on the belt. Then after several long minutes, of them moving forward and then backing up to look again at your 'stuff' and maybe even calling someone else over to look, you finally are cleared. Then as fast as you can, pick up shoes, sweater, items that were in your pocket, belt, your laptop, purse and 'carry-on and get the hell out of the way, before you get trampled by the person behind you, who obviously is in a big rush and you are in their way. Finally, you are off to the gate, where you can sit and wait to be called to board, assuming there are no delays (fat chance). Boarding begins with the general announcement, "do not board until your section is called", well I must be the only one in section 3, because everyone else is ahead of me. Now, "what, you ask, "is their hurry?" Simple, carry on luggage. You see, while you SHOULD have only one carry on and a purse or maybe a briefcase, many, ok most, have their suitcase, a laptop carrier, a package, and a purse and coat. The sooner you board, the better chance you have of getting all that stuff in to an overhead bin. And should they run out of room, you are made to check your baggage, BUT and this is a big but, there is no fee charge. Something tells me I am doing something wrong. And lastly, you are seated and we push back from the gate...on time departure! Bull!, on time push back from the gate where you may stand in line for up to a half hour waiting for your turn to take off. Two hours of air time, and the person next to you believing you are invisible, (how else can you explain that that take over the arm rest, poke their elbows in your side, and without asking take their cup or bottle and set on your table drop down. Once you arrive, since you were really a half hour late leaving, you will have to wait for a gate to open. 10 minutes, 15 minutes, usually 20 minutes and you pull in and then wait the 15 minutes to depart the plane if you are in any row past 10. One short walk through the airport, usually a half mile, you are at baggage, where you will wait another 15 minutes, for the luggage to appear. Out to get a cab and you finally can proceed to your destination.

So, yes, I did think air travel was the quickest way to travel, but I am not so sure anymore. I did think the security checks were for my benefit, but not so sure about that either. And I did think that the airlines goal was to make my flying experience a pleasant one, which I guess technically the two hours wasn't too bad. But what I want to know is who is responsible for the rest of the experience. And yes, it took 8 hours.