Kids say the Darnedest Things

June 15, 2010 - Being a grandparent is really the best thing in the world. You get to re-live all the best parts of having kids, but you don't really have to suffer through the headaches they give you. And you don't have to worry about getting gray hair, because you already have it. In fact, as a grandparent, things that your kids did that would drive you to tears as a parent, no longer effect you the same way. Oh, they still bring you to tears, but because you are laughing so very hard.

I have a granddaughter who lovingly refers to me as 'brown' grandma. This started when she was around two. I am 'brown' grandma, and her other grandma is 'whitey'. When ever she would refer to me she got some very strange looks, she now is six and tells me, "you are not brown, you are just tan, real tan". What can I say, she sees in color. Not to be outdone, my son's son calls me 'country' grandma and he calls his other grandma 'city' grandma. My newest grandson from my last child doesn't have a name for me yet, but I am sure hoping it isn't 'fat' grandma. Then I will be the brown, country, fat grandma. My one grandson is very focused on what 'bad' words are, and he doesn't hesitate to tell me what words are 'bad' and hence I should not say. Stupid, yep that's a bad word, Idiot, yep that's a bad word, shut up yep it is bad. Of course I can't let it drop there, so very seriously I will say, what about sh**....he thinks, ponders it over, makes his eyes wide, and say's Yep, that's a bad word. I laugh til I cry. My granddaughter definitely knows I am wrapped around her finger. Once, while examining my jewelry together, I said, "you are my only granddaughter, do you know what you get because of that?" Without hesitation she looked at me and said, "anything I want". I asked once if she thought I was pretty, and she looked at me from all sides, tilted her head, crinkled her nose, and looked at me with such sad eyes and said, "not so much". Out of the mouths of babes, comes the truth. As I watch them interact with their parents I re-live the same dialog that took place years ago. Why, because I said so, but why, I don't need a reason, but why can't I..everyone else is. Well you are not, but why??? And one last thing. My granddaughter learned one of the all time favorite games of our youth, 'Ding Dong Ditch'. The only problem is she can't leave the cul de sac, so she couldn't run very far away and kept repeating the same houses. Finally one of the neighbors called my daughter to let her know what was happening. My granddaughter was punished, my daughter was embarrassed and I laughed all evening about it. After being punished for the whole day, my granddaughter asked if she could come over and spend the night. "Sure, do you miss me?" "No, I just need to break out of here". laughed til I almost wet my pants.

I thought being a grandma would be fun. It is a blast. I thought seeing my kids as parents would make me proud. It does. And I thought as a parent that I had heard everything. I was wrong. Way wrong. I am hearing new things everyday. If fact Sunday while at a water park with my grandchildren, my four year old looked at me and said, "hey, do you have any cash?" Cracked me up.