Do you send a Thank You note on a Thank You note

April 16th, 2010 - Since being ill, I have received an outpouring of flowers, food, various gifts, get well cards, and frequent visits from neighbors and friends. While I never forget my manners and thank people, I am always left in a dilema with the question, Is a face to face thank you enough? Or, should a face to face thank you be followed up by a hand written note thank you? And if you say thank you through e-mail, is it the same as saying thank you face to face or with a thank you card, which I still don't know if the thank you card trumps a face to face thank you.

As a kid it was very simple, any gift received, whether in person or through the mail was always followed up with a hand written thank you note, which ofcourse was mailed, as we did not have something called e-mail. And to be proper the thank you note always made mention of the gift and what you liked about it. Of course if the gift was money you could not say, "Hey, thanks I love the money you gave me, it is just the perfect shade of green". No, in the case of money you simply said, "Thank you so much for your generous gift, it will be used to help purchase .....", what ever you were putting it towards. I had an Aunt, who used to cut the neices and nephews right off the Birthday list and Christmas list if she did not receive a Thank You note. You can bet, I always sent notes. Once while at my aunts house she was busy cleaning out cabinets and drawers and what she thought was junk seemed like treasures to me. An old deck of cards, a key ring, the little plastic pictutre holders that come inside of a wallet, an old lipstick that she never used, a coin purse, two catz eyes marbles, and a tiny little address book, with a section for miscellanous notes. There were many other items that day, far to much to remember now. But at the time, because I did not want to lose favor, I wrote a thank you and mentioned each and every item she gave me. My aunt got such a hoot out of this she saved the card and showed to everyone for months and months. Recently, my neighbor came by one day to visit, bearing a small loaf of banana bread. As I smelled the bread I thanked her and said I looked forward to having some. Since it was around lunch time I invited her to stay and have a bowl of soup with me. When she went to leave it went something like this. "Thanks again for stopping by to visit and thanks for the banana bread". "Oh no, no big deal, thank you for the lunch and letting me take up your afternoon". "Are you kidding, I am so happy to have the company, it gets a little lonely sometimes". "Well I can't thank you enough for being the type of neighbor who is so friendly and welcoming". "No, really it is always a pleasure to see you, and of course you make great banana bread". In this case I think we both over thanked each other (better to be over polite than to be rude), but just to be sure, I sat down that evening and wrote a thank you note. See what I mean, was that over kill? How do you know you said and thanked enough?

Not so simple is it? I thought saying thank you was a piece of cake. Just early taught manners that stay with you a lifetime. But as you can see it gets complicated, and ofcourse, I don't want to offend anyone, (or get cut out of the birthday and Christmas list...lol) so I will be sitting down and writing thank you cards today, for all the cards, gifts, and visits that I received during my recovery. THANKS!